The Virtue of Sexual Abstinence Before Marriage

The Virtue of Sexual Abstinence Before Marriage:
Nurturing Relationships and Personal Growth
by Dr. "A.I." Aston Ishing, D.Div.

Introduction
Sexual abstinence before marriage has been a virtue upheld by various cultures and religions throughout history. While societal norms and attitudes toward premarital sex have evolved over time, the idea of abstaining from sexual relations until marriage remains a moral and ethical imperative for many individuals. This essay explores the virtue of sexual abstinence before marriage, examining its roots in cultural, religious, and philosophical perspectives. Additionally, it delves into the potential benefits of abstaining from premarital sex, both on an individual level and within the context of committed relationships.

Cultural and Religious Perspectives
The virtue of sexual abstinence before marriage is deeply rooted in cultural and religious traditions. Many societies, past and present, view sex as a sacred and intimate act reserved for the sanctity of marriage. In various religious teachings, premarital sex is often discouraged due to its potential to undermine the moral fabric of society and the sacred nature of the marital bond.

For instance, in Christianity, the Bible emphasizes the sacredness of marriage and the importance of sexual purity as a reflection of Christ’s sacred, covenant relationship with his Bride, the Church. The concept of waiting until marriage to engage in sexual relations is seen as a means of honoring the commitment and unity of the marital covenant. Similarly, other major world religions, such as Islam and Judaism, also advocate for the sanctity of marriage and discourage premarital sexual activity.

Cultural traditions, too, play a significant role in shaping attitudes toward sexual abstinence. In some cultures, the emphasis on family honor and community values reinforces the idea that sexual intimacy should be confined to the boundaries of marriage. These cultural and religious perspectives contribute to the virtue of sexual abstinence by providing a moral framework that encourages individuals to consider the long-term consequences of their actions.

Individual Development and Self-Discovery
One of the key virtues associated with sexual abstinence before marriage is the opportunity for individual development and self-discovery. Choosing to abstain from premarital sex allows individuals to focus on personal growth, education, and the pursuit of their goals without the added complexities and potential consequences of early sexual involvement.

By refraining from engaging in sexual relations before marriage, individuals have the time and space to explore their identities, interests, and aspirations. This period of self-discovery can contribute to the development of a strong sense of self and a deeper understanding of personal values and beliefs. In essence, sexual abstinence becomes a pathway to emotional and intellectual maturity.

Moreover, delaying sexual activity until marriage can foster a sense of self-respect and self-worth. The decision to abstain from premarital sex communicates a commitment to personal values and a recognition of the significance of the marital relationship. This commitment can positively impact an individual's self-esteem and contribute to the formation of healthier relationships in the long run.

Building Stronger Relationships
The virtue of sexual abstinence before marriage is often associated with the belief that it contributes to the building of stronger and more enduring relationships. By waiting until marriage to engage in sexual intimacy, individuals foster a sense of anticipation and commitment that can deepen the emotional connection between partners.

In a culture that often emphasizes instant gratification, the decision to abstain from premarital sex challenges individuals to build a relationship based on emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connections rather than solely on physical attraction. This intentional approach to relationships encourages open communication, trust, and mutual respect, creating a solid foundation for a lasting partnership.

Health and Well-Being
Another aspect of the virtue of sexual abstinence before marriage lies in the potential health benefits associated with delayed sexual activity. While comprehensive sex education and access to contraceptives are crucial components of sexual health, the decision to abstain from premarital sex can offer a level of protection against certain health risks.

For instance, waiting until marriage to engage in sexual activity reduces the likelihood of unintended pregnancies and the emotional, financial, and social challenges that may accompany them. Additionally, sexual abstinence provides individuals with a greater degree of control over their sexual health: sexual abstinence mitigates the risk of relationship challenges associated with premarital sex, such as sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Studs share STDs! By waiting until marriage, couples can approach their sexual relationship with a greater sense of responsibility and preparedness, reducing the potential for external stressors such as disease that can strain the relationship.

It is important to note that advocating for sexual abstinence does not negate the importance of comprehensive sex education and access to reproductive healthcare. Rather, the virtue of sexual abstinence before marriage serves as a complementary approach, encouraging individuals to make informed and responsible choices about their sexual health.

Conclusion
In conclusion, the virtue of sexual abstinence before marriage is rooted in cultural, religious, and philosophical perspectives that emphasize the sanctity of the marital bond. While the virtue of sexual abstinence is a personal choice, it is essential to acknowledge that choices have consequences. Choosing to abstain from premarital sex offers individuals health benefits, the opportunity for personal development, self-discovery, and the cultivation of stronger and enduring relationships.

Additionally, sexual abstinence can contribute to better health outcomes by reducing the risk of unintended pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. Ultimately, the virtue of sexual abstinence before marriage is rooted in the belief of a good, eternal, supernatural God who desires the eternal highest good for his creations.

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The above article "The Virtue of Sexual Abstinence Before Marriage" was written mainly by the A.I. app ChatGPT with a little editing by yours truly. It is "AstonIshing" what these new A.I. tools can do! We should use them for building up the Kingdom of Heaven, not just leave them for the devil to use. But be careful: five or six times the A.I. used the words "choice" and "choose" (like "What flavor of ice cream do you choose: vanilla, strawberry, or chocolate?" – morally neutral terms – a pro-choice value system), so I changed them to "decision" and "decide" that imply good or bad, right or wrong decisions, Keep in mind that A.I. reflects the value system of the people who produced the information on which A.I. is trained.

Here's a completely A.I.-written children's story: "Freddie the Cat and Molly the Duck" that I asked "ANonyMouse" (ChatGPT) to write: it's totally unedited, exactly the text that appeared on my screen. At the end, you'll see the simple one-sentence prompt I fed to ChatGPT. Is there an implied value system in it?

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Transformed Into His Likeness

 

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"The Word became flesh, and dwelled among us. We beheld His glory, such glory as of the one and only Son of the Father, full of grace and truth" (John 1:14). Right at the beginning of his Gospel, the Apostle John describes the glory of Jesus Christ. A bit farther in this chapter, John tells us how that glory was revealed: "I saw the Spirit descending like a dove out of heaven, and it remained on Him. ...I have seen, and have testified that this is the Son of God" (verses 32 & 34). This is the first "Epiphany" (revelation) of Jesus as the Son of God in His glory.

In Luke 9:28–36 we read of the Transfiguration of Christ – "As He was praying, the appearance of His face was altered, and His clothing became white and dazzling." This transfiguration is very likely what John was referring to in John 1:14, when Peter, James and John beheld His glory. St. Peter testifies of the Transfiguration - "For He received from God the Father honor and glory, when the voice came to Him from the Majestic Glory, 'This is my beloved Son, in Whom I am well pleased'" (2 Peter 1:17).

And Christ intends to share His glory with us – "Seeing that His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and virtue; by which he has granted to us his exceedingly great and precious promises; that through these you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world by lust" (verses 3-4). This is St. Peter's testimony on participating in Christ's glory.

Next, St. Paul also testifies about the topic of transformation – "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God" (Romans 12:2). The Greek word here for "transformed" is metamorphousthe, the same word used for "transfigured" in Luke 9. So it is the same process, the same action of God's Spirit both in Christ and in us.

After Moses received the Ten Commandments from God, he came down from Mt. Sinai and, having been in the presence of God, his face was shining with glory so much that he had to put a veil on his face because the Israelites couldn't bear to look at the brightness (Exodus 34:35). As St. Paul writes, however, in 1 Corinthians 3:16 & 18 – "But whenever one turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. ...But we all, with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are transformed into the same image from glory to glory, even as from the Lord, the Spirit." Christ's glory in us is far greater than the glory that shone on the face of Moses!

As a side note, I should explain that the Church Fathers make a distinction between God's image in all mankind and His likeness in Christ's followers. Here's an analogy: the image is similar to the blueprint or plan or design, but the likeness is the way that a specific house or car follows the blueprint or plan or design. For example, a new Mercedes car is in the Mercedes image, but if it gets in a bad wreck it may no longer be in the Mercedes likeness. Similarly, all people are in the image of God... but if they wreck their lives, they may no longer reflect God's likeness. Christ came, however, to restore or transform us back into the divine likeness.

We can't know exactly what this will be like because it is beyond our earthly experience, but St. John tells us – "Beloved, now we are children of God, and it is not yet revealed what we will be. But we know that, when He is revealed, we will be like Him; for we will see Him just as He is" (1 John 3:2). And St. Paul tells us – "For whom He [God] foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers" (Romans 8:29).

Paul also wrote – "For our citizenship is in heaven, from where we also wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ; Who will change the body of our humiliation to be conformed to the body of His glory, according to the working by which He is able even to subject all things to Himself" (Philippians 3:20-21). And also – "For in Him [Christ] all the fullness of the Godhead dwells bodily, and you have this fullness in him, who is the head of all principality and power" (Colossians 3:9-10).

In conclusion, this should be our goal: "Christ also loved the Church, and gave Himself up for it; that He might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, that He might present the Church to Himself glorious, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish" (Ephesians 5:25b-27).

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Perfect People: Possible But Improbable

 

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How is it possible that Christ has already made us perfect, as Hebrews 10:12-14 shows here? In Revelation 13:8b we read – "...the Lamb who was slain from the foundation of the world." The sacrifice of Christ took place in eternity past, because He is One of the pre-eternal Trinity. So Christ the God-Man is both outside of time as God and inside time as man, thus His work of perfecting us has both an eternal and a temporal aspect. "Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect" (Matthew 5:48) and "Follow after peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man will see the Lord" (Hebrews 12:14). How is it possible that Christians can be perfect, how can we fulfill these commands to be perfect and holy?

St. Paul wrote in Philippians 3:8-16 on striving to become perfect:

"Yes most assuredly, and I count all things to be loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus, my Lord, for Whom I suffered the loss of all things, and count them nothing but refuse, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own, that which is of the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; that I may know Him, and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, becoming conformed to His death; if by any means I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.

Not that I have already obtained, or am already made perfect; but I press on, if it is so that I may take hold of that for which also I was taken hold of by Christ Jesus. Brothers, I don't regard myself as yet having taken hold, but one thing I do. Forgetting the things which are behind, and stretching forward to the things which are before, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."

St. Paul wrote that he was not already made perfect (in the human dimensions of space-time), but he was pressing on to take hold of what Christ had already (in eternity) taken hold of: Paul's perfection. This also explains the "predestination/free will" paradox: Christ as eternal God foreknows all those who are destined for salvation, perfection, and sanctification; but we mortals are limited to space-time and cannot know the future, therefore we must freely choose to "press on toward the goal for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."

From God's eternal point of view, there is predestination; but from a human point of view, there is free will and moral responsibility. As a Protestant might say, "God is a Calvinist, but we are all Arminians." In Hebrews 12:25 the Apostle Paul wrote - "See that you don't refuse him who speaks. For if they didn't escape when they refused Him Who warned on earth, how much more will we not escape who turn away from Him who warns from heaven." Humanly speaking, it is possible for us to turn away from Christ, just as it is possible to turn toward Him and follow Him. Let's look at some examples:

In the Early Church, after Emperor Constantine had legalized Christianity and then made it the official state religion of the Greco-Roman Empire, some Christians saw a weakening of the fervor that Christians had exhibited during times of persecution and martyrdom. So they literally forsook everything and followed Christ. At first, these early monastics led a solitary life. Pachomius the Great, an Egyptian soldier in the Roman Army, was baptized 314 in the year as soon as he completed his military service, and immediately started to practice the ascetic life of self-denial.

Soon he withdrew into the desert under the guidance of a spiritual father, and after ten years the Lord spoke to him, saying that he must form a monastic community. Thus was born the first "cenobitic" (from "koinonia") monastic community, just after Christianity was legalized. The "rule" of St. Pachomius became the model for founding documents of many later monastic communities. St. Pachomius worked miracles, and saw visions of holy Angels, and foresaw the day of his death.

Another early saint was Benedict, born in Italy in the year 480. "When he was fourteen years of age, the saint’s parents sent him to Rome to study. Unsettled by the immorality around him, he decided to devote himself to a different sort of life." He first fled to the desert and became a solitary, but after ten years a group of disciples formed around him, eventually growing to over 3,000 monastics in several monastic communities. He wrote the "Rule of St Benedict" that became the model for most monastic communities in the West. He "was granted by the Lord the gift of foresight and wonderworking. He healed many by his prayers. The monk foretold the day of his death in 547."

These two saints lived during the first millennium of Christianity when Christians in East and West formed one united Church. Tragically, after the Great Schism in A.D. 1054, the Christian faith continued to fracture into the tens of thousands of denominations we have today. Each has a portion of original Christianity - some have a large slice of the pie, others just a tiny sliver. If only they could put together all the pieces of the truth, we could again form one true Church.

But the pursuit of holiness did not completely die out. Seraphim of Sarov, who lived in the 18th century, even as a child was twice miraculously healed from illness, and had visions of angels and of Christ himself. At age 18 he entered the monastery of Sarov. At age 27 he was ordained as a hieromonk (priest-monk) and served the Eucharist every day for a year. Then he withdrew further into the wilderness, where bears, rabbits, wolves, foxes and other wild animals came to his hut to be fed from his hand. He once spent 1,000 days on a rock with his hands lifted up in prayer.

A disciple of his named Motovilov came to him one cloudy day in the winter. When asked the meaning of the Christian life, St. Seraphim said - "It is necessary that the Holy Spirit enter our heart. Everything good that we do, that we do for Christ, is given to us by the Holy Spirit, but prayer most of all, which is always available to us." When Motovilov asked how he could know the Holy Spirit, he answered - "We are both now, my dear fellow, in the Holy Spirit." It was as if Motovilov's eyes had been opened, for he saw that the face of the elder was brighter than the sun.

In his heart, Motovilov felt joy and peace, in his body a warmth as if it were summer, and a fragrance began to spread around them. Motovilov was terrified by the unusual change, but especially by the fact that the face of the starets shone like the sun. But St. Seraphim said to him, "Do not fear, dear fellow. You would not even be able to see me if you yourself were not in the fullness of the Holy Spirit. Thank the Lord for His mercy toward us." He went on to explain that this gift was not only for monastics but for all Christians who seek the Holy Spirit with all their hearts.

Another great saint is John of Kronstadt. Born in 19th-century Russia, he lived into the early 20th century. He also had the gifts of healing and foreknowledge. A married priest, he served the Eucharist daily, ministered to the Imperial Family, and foresaw the fall of Russia into atheism a decade after his death. He formed houses for the poor and sick in St. Petersburg, visiting them, praying for them and even giving them the shoes off his feet in the dead of winter. You can get The Aim of the Christian Life by St. Seraphim of Sarov and My Life in Christ by St. John of Kronstadt at our website www.Discover-Original-Christianity.info/literatura.htm.

As St. Seraphim told Motovilov, the gift of the Holy Spirit and the life of sanctification is the aim for all Christians, not just for priests, monks, and nuns. As St. Paul wrote, "to the church of God which is at Corinth; those who are sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints" (1 Corinthians 1:2). But not all will make the effort, "because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it" (Matthew 7:14). we must make every effort, we must strive for holiness, as St. Peter wrote - "Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble," (2 Peter 1:10).

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